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"Need a Body Clean Up in Parking Aisle J"
Heard the news today that a body was found behind the local Walmart here in Martinsburg, West Virginia.
When I got home, I searched "walmart suicide" for details and got a few interesting surprises as a result.
The first surprise was in the fact that there was no mention of my local store, and the second was that there was in fact many pages of results.
Apparently, Walmart stores are just as popular with the suicidal crowd, as they are with the shoppers on a tight budget who also happen to have very low standards.
A few Honorable Mentions...
January 17 2013: At aproximately 9AM, Martinsburg WV police were dispatched to the Foxcroft Walmart for a report of a body lying in the rear of the store with a single bullet wound to the head.
November 6, 2012: A 32 year old Austin woman was found dead in her car in the parking lot of the Gonzales Texas Walmart. She had been dead about 3 days, apparently of an overdose.
November 10, 2012: A 46 year old woman was gunned down in the parking lot of the Hillview, Kentucky Walmart as she was loading her purchases into her car. The shooter was a boyfriend who fled the scene, but shot himself later as police closed in on him.
October 31, 2011: A 38 year old man shot himself in the parking lot of the Bethel Road Walmart in Columbus Ohio. He left a suicide note before stepping out of his car and capping his own ass.
December 7, 2011: A 28 year old Palm Coast resident shot himself in the parking lot of the local Walmart during the night. He was spotted in his Honda by an employee who showed for work at 11AM, but the employee thought he may be sleeping. On his 3pm break, the employee took a closer look and called police.
November 22, 2010: An elderly man entered the bathroom of the 7th Street Walmart in Joplin Missouri around 10AM and shot himself. A man in the next stall was not injured, but he was seen buying new underwear on his way out.
December 18, 2010: The Columbia County Coroner was called to the parking lot of the Walmart in Grovetown Georgia to retrieve the body of a 51 year old woman who shot herself in her truck. The coroner estimates that the woman had been dead for 3 days.
* While there are lots of pretty words available to help make this slightly depressing post a bit easier to digest, pointless fluff simply isn't my style.
Truth is; Should punching your own ticket be your chosen path, then by all means have at it. I know I should care, but with all the recent stories of suicidal wads choosing to take innocent strangers out with them, and in some cases, children...I fully support your option of returning this gift of life, provided that you keep that personal choice personal.
Don't involve anyone else. Coward.
Jumping out the back door is too easy. Life is hard. Facing the consequences is hard.
Let go of your expectations and learn to roll with the punches.
Let go of your expectations and learn to roll with the punches.
True Courage is Grace Under Pressure.
Tough it out and people will respect your accomplishments.
Bail out when it gets tough and you leave nothing behind but pain and disappointment.
JB.
Copyright Stran Photography 2013
Update: Martinsburg police just recovered another body from the front lot of Walmart @ Foxcroft Ave.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that the deceased was attempting to get high by huffing the canned air that you use for cleaning out your computer and TVs, and OD'd in his car.
The propellant in canned air is believed by many to offer a good buzz if you get enough of it, though I have never tried it so this can't be confirmed. I can confirm however that it is quite toxic, and those few people of limited intelligence willing to fill their lungs with it (and who also have confused "air" with oxygen), will likewise not be available to confirm the effects.
He bought a dozen cans of the stuff just minutes before punching his own ticket by means of a chemical blood poisoning.
The silver lining? At least he won't be breeding.