It's That Fadd Map Time Again Ladies: Fat and Delusional Dreamers Making Plans

"Beauty Is In The Eye of the Beholder"

  We are once again rounding that bend, and readying ourselves for the same old resolutions that seem to top the personal priority lists of millions around us: Get in better shape; Eat healthier; Become a better version of me.
  Good.  Most folks will benefit from a few small changes in habit. Just be sure you're going into this new plan for the right reasons.

 Feeling better, having more energy, and out-living your goldfish are all great ideas.

  Today's rant is focused more on the overly critical tendencies that create a pattern of self-destruction in far too many otherwise happy folks, women in particular.

 With New Year's day just 24 hours away, maybe what we really need to focus on is less focus, waddyathink?

  Every January, many of us join the masses who have fallen prey to that commercialized version of who and what we are expected to become, while completely ignoring the fact that these carefully crafted systems of self-doubt and body-shaming by comparison are based in the very same premise as the classic Madison Avenue concept of "Keeping up with the Joneses" that was sold to our parents since the sixties: Greed.

 Honestly:  It is ALWAYS about profits. Every last stigma and doubt system that is carried over from each generation to torture and traumatize girls (and boys), whose only crime was being born, is and always has been about money. Nothing more. Specifically, it's about taking yours.

 Uniqueness is systematically crushed by that profit machine starting in grade school, when your inherent need to socialize is used as a weapon against you. 

  Fashion, pharmaceutical and cosmetics companies that are built on this evil groundwork rely solely on their ability to convince you that everyone is flawed and sub-par at birth, but you can have access to the 'magic pill' that will make you acceptable...for a reasonable price, of course.

 This form of social brainwashing for profit isn't new, and frankly I think we as a species should have evolved beyond this sheeple stage by now; the one that feeds our vulnerable children to this system of emotional torture for profits.

   Sadly, many adults are too deeply submerged into this "I'm not quite good enough" mentality to even realize just how shallow their lives have become, and they pass this social guilt on to their children.

  The makeup and drug companies aren't alone here;  Enter the medical profession.

 Botox, plastic surgery, and various body shaping procedures are also part of this conspiracy of personal shaming and body criticism for profits, and people are literally dying to impress their equally shallow friends.

  Women are tricked into injecting toxic poisons into their faces, boobs and butts to feel competitive with Photoshopped models who are just as flawed as the rest of us.

 The big difference between them and you? They lie. It's their job to lie to you, and it's also very profitable. The model is lying. The photographer is lying. Because the sponsor company doesn't profit from truth.

 Ready for a little truth?  Start with this:  I Love You. We Love You. Just the way you are, as nature intended, as your God intended you to be. 

  You are not supposed to look like your neighbor, or a billboard model, or the lingerie model on the television. Why would you want to? She doesn't even look like that.

  Girls:
  Your mom wasn't lying: You are perfect just the way you are. Dad may have been a bit biased, but he was still telling the truth: You really are beautiful, just the way you are. 

  You are the only one who has a hard time seeing it because you are taught to be hyper critical of every flaw. 

This is a result of the Big Lie we're talking about here today. 

  Your minor flaws make you unique. Your freckles are gorgeous. That dimple is the envy of a hundred people that you've passed. Your hair is your crown. Polish it, make it shine. Or don't. It's who you are.  Make it yours and be proud of it. 

 That whole idea that this life is one big beauty competition in which you are forced to participate is a sack of commercial lies being perpetrated by the shallow and brainwashed herd, and you can be one of the lucky few who have the ability to see through the greed curtain.

 One of the most beautiful traits that a woman can possess is a self confidence that demands respect.

 The world is your mirror, and what you put out is exactly what comes back to you.

  Be beautiful; Believe in your beauty and it will be so, because others will respond to your belief in the same manner. The secret key just went by you in that last sentence: You must Believe it.

 Faking it til you make it may work for some, but for the rest of us this can be a brutally cruel world that has a knack for spotting a weakness in the facade. 

 You must really know beyond any doubt, that your beauty was by design and any adjustments are a waste of time because they detract from your intended purpose.

 Your true beauty is not on the skin, and it is not something that disappears in the dark.

 Your beauty is your strength. Your beauty is your love. Your beauty is a lingering image (feeling) that every person who meets and knows you will carry long after the first impressions have faded.

 Uniqueness is a primary feature of your beauty. Something that makes you just you, and unlike anyone else. Maybe that unique gift is your art; your voice; your generosity; your empathy, or maybe you are still finding yourself and a unique gift hasn't shown itself.

 For many women, their uniqueness turns out to be their destiny to create the most wonderful children the world has ever seen. This is a fine and noble life goal that many parents are honored to become. 

 The best version of a parent my family has ever seen. Nothing wrong with that at all; It completely dismisses the personal and social paranoias altogether, and focuses on a higher calling. Again: A noble quest indeed.

 If there is a point to this yet-another New Years day rant, then it is this:

 Instead of planning another year of wasted money and grueling workout schedules, just to further torture yourself by obsessing over mediocre results that weren't part of your destiny anyway, how about you (we) simply focus on Karma building and putting our egos on a diet?

 There are a lot of simple changes you can make to feel healthier, and to have more energy.

 The first one that I recommend is to Never Buy Diet Coke again. Ever.

  The aspartame is a toxic sugar substitute that is actually making you fatter! They have removed it from their recipe to dodge the complaints from consumers, only to put it right back in under a new name.

 Second; Drink a lot more water. Hydration is more than healthy; it's essential to everything else you want to do and be. Routinely flushing your kidneys and bladder will give you that healthy glow and allow your whole body to function better and handle exercise better.

  That brings me to the third simple change:

  Get vertical.

Sitting is killing more Americans than traffic accidents and drugs combined. Office jobs, computer time, and cable's 400 channels comprise the fat machine that clogs arteries and stops hearts prematurely. 

 Take a walk. Discover that little museum you've been meaning to take a peek at. Throw your sweats on and hike the bike path down the road. Thirty minutes is a good place to start.

 Once this new habit becomes established (the average adult need s to repeat a new habit seven times before it registers) you will realize that you really like the way it feels. Let it progress on it's own schedule, and avoid listening too closely to bragging friends who claim they are running 75 miles today. Misery loves company.

 Set your own starting point, and allow it to progress naturally. If at all. The point is to simply do something that makes you happy. An hour of fresh air and gentle exercise is more than enough for starters.

 Summary:  Improve yourself if you feel the need, but do it for you. Nothing else matters.

 You want to feel better; You want to see your grandchildren grow up; You want to see your feet again.

 Be Happy. Be Happier. Be Beautiful.

JBS.

 § Copyright HealthySelfCures.com  2016  JB Stran

 All Rights Reserved. Reprints with linkback.

The Intentional Stress Secret aka: The WYGDA Factor

The Secret Reason for Fabricated Stress in Your Team: The WYGDA factor

   The Problem Child.   The Instigator.  Nearly every  team has one, and far too many managers have gone head-to-head with at least one at some point in his career.
 This employee seems to create conflict wherever he or she goes. Some actually appear to enjoy the dramas that are left in their wake. Whether your problem child is overtly hostile, attention seeking, or simply basking in the spotlight of infamy, the resulting stresses are all the same for you and your team.

 As a manager in Baltimore many years ago, this type of employee was more than just a minor nuisance, and on some teams they actually outnumbered the more mature workers who showed up every day to give a fair effort without rocking the boat. This type of imbalance can have a devastating effect on overall production, even if only because the fabricated dissention is contagious.
 These boat rockers could easily tie up the majority of your day with headache-inducing conflicts and needless personal dramas, and why not? You are going to pay them either way, and by forcing the WYGDA factor they are in fact being paid to complain, to waste your time, and to hold up production.
 They go home happy every day, while you and your team fall further behind schedule.

So, What You Gonna Do About it?

  This is a game of dares, first and foremost. Falling under the heading of the Get Over Game, the long term goal is to take effective control away from management and put it in the hands of a small group of bullies who will keep you dancing on your strings like a puppet.

 This is not nearly as far-fetched, nor as tough, as you may think. You will automatically deny being that easy to manipulate, and it's just that type of arrogance that the players will expect and use to gain control.

  The short-term goals are almost meaningless when viewed individually: Create a new complaint each day; Recruit more players to each create a new daily complaint; Divide lower management; Feed the local rumor mill negative stories that undermine the managers; Stall production at every opportunity; Bully any member who refuses to play along; and last but surely not least, Push and keep the tension levels to a breaking point.

 To the uninitiated, it is rather illuminating to discover how many vulnerabilities are created by a passively trusting management team.

 That Chain of Command that you have so much respect for doesn't even exist in the Get Over game. Prepare to have your back scarred by a dozen knives. The bully will go straight to the top with petty, and sometimes even fabricated, complaints about you and your performance.

 What You Gonna Do About it? Nothing. There's nothing you can do directly, and she knows it.

 There's nothing easy about being bullied at any point in your life, but it can be particularly frustrating when the bully is your employee. You offer respect on the daily, and in many cases you even care on a personal level, but there's always that one person who looks at you like you just asked for a kidney; or the one who makes you feel like you need a bath after they talk to you.

 So, What You Gonna Do About it?

First: Clear The Air.

  

The WYGDA bully will vary his tactical approach to suit the environment, so the ammo of choice may differ, but the bully's primary weapon is always the same: Threats. Lots of empty threats.

 She will threaten to call her attorney if you don't comply. He will threaten to call the NAACP if you don't give in. She will threaten to form a union if you refuse to promote her. He will go over your head repeatedly, thus keeping you under pressure by the trickle-down effect.

 Call the Bluff. The best way to deal with this smokescreen is to lay all the cards out on the table.

Hand her the phone from your desk, and offer to dial the number. Take back control of your position and at the same time you take the wind out of her sails.

 Bullying a manager works because he/she feels that they hold an ace up the sleeve. They know a trick, or a friend is teaching them about something that worked in the past. There is a bit of truth in every rumor, and these stories are no different.

 The key is to become fiercely proactive at the first signs of a power struggle, and cover your legal bases.

Notify your legal department of the possibility that a standoff may be imminent, and begin the paper trail with your first meeting. Witness accounts are golden, and if your meeting witness is also from HR or legal, you can consider your posterior adequately covered.

 Sadly enough, WYGDA bullying does work to a degree, and I have watched a few Baltimore companies become completely devoured by hired bullies to the point of eventual collapse.

  In the one that haunts me to this day, it was myself who had hired the ringleader. By the time the mistake was realized by the owners, he had already caused enough damage to create the snowball effect that would bring the company down.
 Twice I tried to fire him, because he was costing us customers directly, but he cried (and lied) to the owner and was re-hired, effectively placing himself on the "protected list" which meant even the slightest hint of future negativity from me could legally be construed as harassment...and I had to watch with my hands tied as he destroyed everything that we had built.
 We (the owner that I met with weekly and myself) knew that he was a DuKE, but we arrogantly believed that we could manage this small quirk. He wasn't the only one, after all.
 A DuKE is someone experiencing the Dunning-Kruger Effect, and this young man was the living definition of someone living with DKE syndrome.
 In this case, he was thoroughly convinced that he was a natural genius (because mom said so..?) who should be calling all the shots, and that we should essentially hand the company over to him.
 In truth, he had the people skills of a porcupine, and the business sense of grade school bully.
 I will try to expand on the topic of DuKEs in a future post, as it is a very interesting topic.

 In any event, you can take my word for this: The guilt that comes from installing a cancer into your work family, one that forces the people you love and respect to suffer, is not something that you can shake off easily. I've had to live with this every day since.
 So take the lead right from the start, thus making positive changes in your future.
 Every manager enjoys the belief that he is no pushover, and when an employee begins to push you have the opportunity to prove your character to everyone involved.

  2015   The Leader Coach   §   JB Stran